You Might Be A Redneck If...

The most common phrase heard in your house is,
"Somebody go jiggle that handle."

You think the last four words to the National Anthem are,
"Gentlemen, start your engines."

You've ever plucked a nose hair with a pair of pliers.

You have ever worn cowboy boots with Bermuda shorts.

You think Liberation was that funny dressed
  guy that played the piano.         

You use a fishing license as a form of I.D.

You've ever been accused of lying through your tooth.

You've ever stolen toilet paper.

Your Fourth of July cook out was ruined because 
your Daddy burned the spam.

You think "cur" is a breed of dog.

You think "six to ten pounds" on the side
  of a diaper box is how much it will hold.

You have a rag for a gas cap.

You strip naked to the waist to eat barbecue.

There's a motor hanging from a tree 
anywhere in your yard.

Your family tree does not fork.

You own Patsy Cline salt and pepper shakers.

Your muffler is held on with coat hangers.

You've ever flashed an old lady.